Let me begin with a little bit of background. I was born in a world where the normal mindset of dating is "Look around, try different types, and decide what you want in a future partner based on those temporary relationships". This type of thinking is so natural and accepted in our culture today, and for my whole entire life I believed this moto to be true. I would think," How could dating be harmful? Everyone should have a little fun now and then. If you like them, date them!". Sadly, I used to see dating as a casual, common experience that even my own church seems to take lightly. However, over the past 5 months, God has (and continues to) graciously remove the scales from my eyes that have blinded me from knowing what a pre-marital relationship should look like. I pray everyday that God would use my past to bring anyone who struggles with how to view this particular area, in order to show them how much peace I have found in allowing Him to shape my views of human intimacy and relationships.
After doing a lot of reading and praying, I have come to the conclusion that dating for me not does biblically line up with Scripture. This is what I hope I can break down easily for any reader to understand...maybe you'll be able to find Truth in it,too!
Down The Aisle
"For the wedding of the Lamb has come and his Bride has made herself ready"
-Revelations 19:7
Throughout the New Testament, the Bible refers to "bride" as the church or the "body" of believers. Ultimately, the church's goal is to prepare her believers for the day that Christ returns and the church and Son of God are united. Sometimes it's really hard to see the big picture of the church and its function. Everyone seems to go each week to find a helpful message that encourages a purer life that glorifies God more than it does in the present.If there's a believer who knows he/she has recieved the gift of salvation, why on earth would he/she want to a life that's more pure? It's simple. As a believer, I know that I am living for something beyond this world, something beyond this life. There is a God who created me and is absolutely silly over me, and I'm so crazy excited to spend the rest of eternity with Him someday. I want to die knowing that I committed all of my life exclusively for Him, considering the fact that he died for me and loves me more than I will ever know. God is always faithful: just as God is faithful, so his believers should be in the way that he is to them. I want to be able to walk down the aisle to my King to present him with a spotless life that honored him and was seperated from the casual, skewed ways of this world, just like a virgin honors her husband by saving herself for her groom, and only her groom.
"But in keeping his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless, and at peace with him".
-2 Peter 3:14
I want to be presentable in the eyes of my Lord when I finally see his face, therefore, I continue to ask him and make an effort to live the most glorifying life I can for Him.
It all goes hand in hand with human relationships. I know that when it is time for me to marry, I desire give my husband a life that has been honoring him from the beginning, which means not allowing myself to be flung into temporary relationships that will eminently die in the end. If I chose to date around, my actions show God that I don't trust him in picking my future husband, even though he wants me to trust him with that area because he knows me more than I know myself and has better interests for my life than I could ever pick out on my own. I'm sure my husband would appreciate the fact that I set my life aside to live for him too. I don't think it would be a very romantic wedding night telling your husband you admire him becuase this characteristic reminds you of that person you once dated, and this other characteristic another person, etc. Just as our God is jealous for all of our love and lives, I believe that our future partners should be jealous for eachother as well, making every effort to start living for one another, even when they've never met. I want to start living for my future husband now, and I will go to extreme measures to make sure I stay emotionally, physically, and mentally pure for him. It all goes hand in hand the church being prepared for Christ's arrival , which is why marriage is such a beautiful parallel for the coming of our Lord! What do you think?
-Taylor
I think yours is a very well thought out position, and the correct one as well. I've been blessed (or cursed, depending on the circumstances) with a very contemplative soul, which leads me to think much on things before I act.
ReplyDeleteI have also heard others say things such as 'well, it's high school, go for it', and it has always struck something wrong inside me, as if there needs to be something more, something eternal to that relationship, for it to be what I want. And if it all ends up being baggage we carry around with us for years to come, it seems wise to start early in not acquiring things we don't need.
Also, it seems like a relationship shouldn't take away from the rest of your life, it should add to it. Obviously, any relationship requires work, but it shouldn't require massive amounts of work to work - or else it's a dead battery that continually needs jump starting.
I believe that's where God comes in, in helping us find the right person, that helps us carry on, that makes us more alive for Him.
And then, riches flow from the inside out, and all parts of our lives can be blessed more fully with grace.
"But yet neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, so also is the man by the woman: but all things of God."
1 Corinthians 11:11-12
And in this way, they are both more themselves through being with each other, as God has put them together to make them both the better.
Thanks for your comment! It's good to know there are still people out there too who believe the same thing...makes it feel like you're not the ONLY one going against the grain. I really like your analogy about the dead battery too.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness Taylor! Reading through your post, I couldn't help but get emotional :) It's so encouraging to read about how God has been working in your life and the committment to purity that you've made. I admire you for choosing to stand out despite the opposition you will no doubt receive from others who do not see it the way you and I do.
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you!
Blessings,
Paulina
Thanks Paulina. I believe that God placed your blogs and perspectives in front of me right when I needed it the most. You have really made a difference in my life! I'm so excited to share these truths with everyone now.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful day :)
Ok, so I feel like I need to comment on this post. This post explains my own views on dating. It's really great to know that you aren't one of the few people who believes that its not up to us to try and figure out who the right person for us is, it is fully in God's hands, just as is every other part of our lives. From my view point when we try and figure out for ourselves who the right person for us is, there just ends up being many broken hearts. When we do put our trus in God, though, its always works out. Whenever people ask me about dating my answer is simple, I am waiting for God's hand it my life. I know he will put that right person in my life and the right time and by his will it will work out. I know he knows everything about my future, and his will will be done, so theres no point in me trying to figure out what his plan is because he will reveal it to me when he feels it is the right time.
ReplyDeleteHope i'm making sense, I tend to begin to ramble when spilling the beans. Looking forward to reading more of your blogs Taylor.
God Bless,
Simon =)